Turn Signal Two Inches Too Far for Man to Bother Using

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c;lose up of steering wheel

HOLLYWOOD – Speeding around Mulholland Drive with little care for the cars around him, David Doosh switches lanes rapidly as he turns his 2002 Nelly CD up full blast. Looking out through his Ray-Ban shades he gives his hair a little checkout in the rearview mirror to make sure the gel dries evenly. What he never does, however, is reach his pinky finger two inches to the left to switch on his turn signal when he abruptly changes lanes.

As to the reason why he refuses to use his turn signal, Mr. Doosh replied nonchalantly, “It’s not convenient for me as it should be on the steering wheel,” as he lazily flicked his cigarette out the window. Sandy Safeway, visiting L.A. from Colorado, was appalled at the behavior. “He almost drove me off the road,” Mrs. Safeway recounts. “If he was able to just reach the turn signal, I would have known his crazy ass was coming and would have let him over. But instead, now all of a sudden I’ve got this Doosh guy in my lane.”

As Mr. Doosh neared his destination, he reached way back into the backseat to grab his favorite Sugar Ray disk, “Floored.” As he rummaged through his extensive mid-late 90s pop-rock collection, his car swerved wildly around the winding mountain path, causing other cars to almost veer off into the Hollywood hills.