WASHINGTON – Despite previously stating that he would have no part in the March Madness hysteria, the President shocked the nation today by rolling back his words and revealing his perfect NCAA tournament bracket.
No stranger to seeing high ranking players get sent home packing, the president not only predicted the upset of the century (UMBC over Virginia), but went on to beat out the brackets of all former NBA greats, IBM computer Watson, and former President Barrack Obama. When asked on the matter he said:
“You see this guy? Barrack? His Picks? A mess. Absolute disaster. I only make the best picks. You see these teams? Michigan? Love Michigan. Best city in the world. And Syracuse? Great people. Did you know I didn’t even make these picks in March? I made them back in January.”
The press is calling it the greatest statistical sports feat since Kim Jong Il’s eleven holes-in-one golf round; whereas experts have attributed the President’s picks to the chaotic and unpredictable environment in the White House. Trump on the other hand has already begun using the bracket as leverage in a push to get Trump University recognized by the 2019 tournament committee.