Trump Plans to Fund Border Wall Using Cheap Immigrant Labor

National border fence and stop sign.

NEW YORK – Donald J. Trump has long promised to make Mexico pay for the wall he plans to build along the country’s border, and last week he revealed one way he would do it: with low wage immigrant labor. “Mexicans need jobs anyway, so they’ll have no choice but to work for me. They will build a wall that they’ll end up on the opposite side of. And they’ll do it for cheap, especially the women; they’ll work for 20% less,” said Trump.

Mexicans living on both sides of the border have spoken out against the plan, saying they will refuse to work on this divisive structure. When polled, most Americans of every race and creed have indicated they want no part in the wall.

Yesterday, Mr. Trump shifted his strategy. “If we cannot get people here to work on it, we will turn to other labor sources, like China,” Trump declared. “They work for very cheap, and they know a lot about building Great Walls, let me tell you.”

One barrier to this barrier is that Trump’s immigration policy would make it illegal for Chinese immigrants to work in the U.S. They would therefore be required to construct the wall while on the Mexican side of the border. “It’s a wall, you only need to worry about one side of it,” Trump exclaimed. “Look at the Berlin Wall; that didn’t look great, but it did the job. What a wall that was. It’s a shame they tore it down.”

Members of the Republican Party voiced concerns that the wall’s construction would cost too much for American taxpayers. Trump responded by saying if costs get too high, he would have the United States declare bankruptcy, so he could avoid paying the workers. “I know how to do this kind of thing, believe me,” Trump said.

President Obama criticized Trump’s approach to foreign relations, saying the wall would create a rift between the U.S. and Mexico. “We need to be good neighbors. We need bridges not walls,” Obama said.

Trump ranted against the president’s comments, “If you want bridges, I’ll tell you what, I will buy all the bridges in New York City and prevent Hispanics from crossing into Manhattan. They can stay in Queens, or wherever. Except for those who work at the Trump Tower Grill. They do make the best taco bowls!”