Trump Declines Presidential Salary to Avoid Income Tax

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Donald Trump at the lectern of a campaign stop

NEW YORK CITY – In a move that surprised no one, president-elect Trump confirmed his pledge to accept no salary while in office. When asked about his reasoning, Trump explained that he was sure the salary was some trick to get him to pay income taxes, something he is far too smart to do.

He then proceeded to reveal a little more about what motivated his decision. “Look, I’m not about to start showing my tax returns now,” Trump said. “If you pay me, those people who are giving me the money would want all kinds of details. They’d make all kinds of demands.”

When asked if by “those people” he meant the American people, Trump was adamant. “Yeah,” Trump replied. “Those losers would start giving me crap about everything I do expecting me to listen to their whining. They would be saying, ‘I pay for your salary, now you serve me. You should listen to what I have to say.’ Well, jokes on them. I’ll make plenty of cash from this gig. I don’t need their measly $400K.”