WASHINGTON DC – At long last the rationale behind the Trump administration’s denunciation of the intelligence community and their sketchy ties to Russia has been discovered. According to leaked documents and conversations with White House sources, Trump is utterly convinced that he is acting as executive producer of a sequel to 1985 comedy film “Spies Like Us.”
“He totally thinks he’s making a movie,” one White House staffer who spoke under the condition of anonymity said. “Bannon’s convinced him he’s directing of course – he totally has Trump believing that Pence and Sessions are playing the Aykroyd and Chevy Chase roles.”
“On top of that, Trump is really being a perfectionist about the details. He’s got all these Russian contacts over there, sometimes they come over here. He wants things to be authentic so he’s hired them all on as consultants.”
The fact that the intelligence community has been scrutinizing his moves has been an immense source of displeasure for Trump.
The staffer elaborated, “Look, the President feels that the feds are soulless money men who can’t appreciate his artistic vision. Sure his decision to have the Russians win in the end is a little odd, but as far as he’s concerned, winning the election means the people gave him final cut.”