Trump Cites His Twitter Warfare as Military Experience

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Donald Trump

WASHINGTON D.C. – Donald Trump has no actual military service experience, but he claims to have fought hard for his country in ongoing Twitter battles.

“I’m fighting for American freedom on Twitter’s front line, just like our brave men in uniform,” Trump said. “I should receive a Twitter medal of honor for this.”
Trump believes his Twitter warfare can be effective in taking down enemies.
“First, there are foreign enemies, like Mexican president Enrique Nacho, who I continue to remind about building the wall. Then there are enemies right in our own country, like that threat to our democracy, Cher.”

Hillary Clinton, whom Trump considers his main enemy, has baited him with tweets, and said he cannot be trusted with nuclear weapons.

“My tweets are as powerful as nuclear bombs,” Trump replied, “and just as toxic.”

John Allen, the retired four-star general whom Trump criticized, said Twitter warfare is not a good tactic for a Commander In Chief. He said if Trump were in the real military, he would never make it through basic training.

Trump responded by declaring that the military is rigged.