Trump Adds Trillions to National Debt in What he Owes Russia for Getting him Elected

Donald Trump at lectern

WASHINGTON D.C. – As a Republican Candidate, Donald Trump campaigned on bringing down the national debt by reducing out of control spending in Washington. As President Elect, however, the Donald has not gotten off to the best start in this endeavor. In addition to the trillions of dollars that the United States currently owes China, the U.S. now owes Russia bills and bonds numbering in the trillions thanks to efforts Vladimir Putin undertook to ensure Trump’s election.

It might seem impossible for it to have cost Russia literally trillions to ensure a Trump victory. But as Trump-appointed U.S. economist Boris Itksaplant explained, “When you add together all of the surveillance required at polling places across the country, all the cyber spying technology to hack into political party databases, the backdoor favors to the Supreme Court for the Citizens United ruling and the gutting of the voting rights act, as well as an entire workforce of basement dwellers pumping out fake news for American public consumption…it all adds up pretty fast.”

Realizing he would never be able to pay this debt off personally, despite his exorbitant wealth, Trump has designated these expenditures as “national security costs,” and has shouldered the burden onto the American public. According to opinion polls, most of his supporters still don’t seem to care.