COLORADO SPRINGS – While the tiny house movement gathers steam across the country, more and more “real” homeowners are complaining that tiny home owners are mooching property, electricity and Wi-Fi. Tiny home owners often build their small dwellings on a friend or family member’s property until they can afford their own real estate, solar panels, and composting toilets. It can be a lengthy process, and in the meantime the folks funding the freeloaders are getting fed up.
One such fed-up family is the Cooks from Colorado Springs Colorado. The Cook mother’s brother, Frank Banks, decided he wanted to build a tiny home so he could eventually, “live off the grid.” He built his 200 square foot abode on the Cook’s lawn five years ago, and hasn’t left since. He currently enjoys free electricity, Wi-Fi, and cable complementary of the Cooks. “I mean, at least Uncle Frank isn’t living on our couch, but being right outside the front door isn’t much better,” says fourteen-year old Linda Cook. “He comes in all the time for snacks, when it’s too rainy out, or even when he wants to use the bathroom. I don’t get it, he’s got his own composting toilet out there!” Although Frank did invest in a composting toilet, he has been less than diligent about cleaning it. According to Frank it, “stinks to high heaven out there! I can’t use the darn thing!”
Sandra Cook, Linda’s mother and Frank’s sister, has a more optimistic view. “Look, at least Frank is no longer living with our mother, so that’s a step in the right direction. And he’s trying to do something good for the environment!” But according to Frank, that’s not the case. “The environment?” said Frank puzzled, “Hell no, I’m not trying to help the environment! I’m trying to get the government off my trail! Lay low for a while, you know what I’m saying? And my sister Sandra and Bill and little Linda have been a great help with that. Just a few more years, or maybe fifteen or twenty, of living off their land and I can afford my own plot way out in the desert. Uncle Sam will never find me out there!” Just then Frank noticed that his beer was empty. “Oh look at that, gotta make a trek back to the old gettin’ place,” he said as he stood up and walked towards the Cook’s house. “May as watch soak up some central air conditioning while I’m here.”