CINCINNATI- The makers of Tide are scrambling to get popular Tide PODS products off the shelves in the wake of viral internet challenges encouraging teens and impressionable children to consume the inedible laundry soap products for fun. “It was totally great until I had to get my stomach pumped,” said 15-year-old Waylon Ispecs, who was hospitalized for downing three capsules in one go, “but I asked Tyler to film the procedure, and it was hundo p savage.”
Tide manufacturer, Proctor & Gamble have been taking the colorful pods off store shelves until the viral fervor dies down and several lawsuits are litigated. However, to capitalize their inexplicable social media stardom, they are rushing edible gummy versions of the pods to production. Instagram and Youtube influencers like Extrakittenz08, an Arizona teen who added Tide POD-eating to her eyebrow contouring tutorial channel, were sent early prototypes of the gummy pods, but were not blown away.
“These new pods make, like, no sense. They taste like blueberries and oranges and other fruit nonsense,” said Extrakittenz08 in a recent video review, “I miss the mountain fresh flavor. It was really intense and painful.”
Teens in test markets have come back with similar criticism of the edible pods’ flavor range (not nearly abrasive enough), and some purists prefer the original pod texture, as well. “When the gooey liquid mixes with the detergent powder, it’s super dope,” said Waylon Ispecs, now recovered from his original esophagus burns.
The makers of Tide PODS have shuttered any more research and development on pod-based products and are instead focusing on newer product lines that are not as cute or enticing to kids. Their newest product is a line of rainbow colored Tide SHOTS, 1.5 oz shooters which can be uncapped and poured into a laundry load. Manufacturers doubt that teens would have any interest in downing Tide SHOTS.