Thousands Planning on Ditching Inaugural Ball for Obama’s Farewell Rager Down the Street

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Hundreds of people at an outdoor rave
Photo by Chad Cooper

WASHINGTON DC – As the nation prepares for the peaceful transfer of executive power, the word on the street that DC is in the mood for one more violent eruption of booze and ass shakin before Trump puts a velvet rope around everything. Luckily, the Obamas aren’t quite ready to leave town just yet and plan on throwing the rager to end all ragers just down the street from the inaugural snooze fest.

Although many RSVP’d early on to attend the inaugural ball, the downer vibes and sense of obligation began wearing on people awhile ago. Just about the time when people were getting their alibis together, slick flyers start popping up in the cooler sections of town.

True to his rep as a neighborhood organizer, POTUS was hitting up his grassroots network of party people and spreading news of the bash of the century in true old-school underground fashion.

An official close to the president had this to say, “Barack was like, ‘I bet everyone is sick of spreading the word about their parties on Facebook. Why don’t we go out and invite face to face. That’s that real shitznit.’”

With that, the official noted that by the time the boring-ass inaugural started wrapping up, things would just be getting started at the Obamas’. The official ending time was stated to be “to the break of dawn and beyond.”