Self-Flying Drones Flying Off The Shelves

Group of people staring up at four flying drones

DAYTON – Drone sales in general have been going through the roof, but unfortunately these drones have been too. This latest drone, called Spav (Self-Piloted Aerial Vehicle), uses technology similar to that found in most self-driving cars.

The Spav’s designer, Saul Aviary, said the main feature of the Spav drone is its ability to sense danger. “It has a built-in ‘fight or flight’ mechanism. And since this is a drone, it’s obviously going to choose flight.”

The Spav drone is designed like a bird, according to Aviary, and it can think for itself. “It has its own special brain that I developed, called Avem Cerebrum. That’s Latin for ‘Bird Brain.’”

Aviary developed the Spav drone by taking a regular drone and hooking it up with his Avem Cerebrum. “Soon after I fitted the Avem Cerebrum onto the drone, it began flying around on its own. It became a real bird-brained drone!”

Problems arose months later when the drones began shipping out. They were reported to be rising out of their boxes during delivery. Only 75% of the Spav drones made it to their designated warehouses or stores. On the shelves of retailers across the country, the drones wouldn’t sit still, and began flying around the stores.

“It got crazy,” said Tim Plazelot, owner of Plazelot Toys. “At first, people and kids were picking up the boxes, looking at the Spav drones. The next thing I knew we were being swarmed, and the drones were flying up to the ceiling and chasing people down the aisles. It was like the Alfred Hitchcock movie ‘The Birds.’”

A company spokesperson for the Spav drone claimed that their drones are docile creatures, and never attack people. The spokesperson added, however, that provoking the drones is not recommended.