CINCINNATI – Thanksgiving is a time Americans give thanks, prepare for the holiday season, and try to get through the day, as they’re reminded how completely dysfunctional their families are. This year, Donald Trump’s victory is certainly not helping matters.
“People always get uncomfortable when old Uncle Hank comes over,” said Sally Tensor. “But this time it might be unbearable.”
Sally’s husband, Don, thinks Uncle Hank might actually be in a better mood. “That miserable guy is usually crotchety,” Don said, “complaining how some group is destroying the country. But now that Trump won, I expect Hank to shut up and be a little happier.”
Some families are inviting outsiders over for dinner, like Bernie or Kasich supporters, in attempt to balance out the Thanksgiving ticket. But Sally is unsure how that will go. “We love Grandma Darlene,” Sally said, “but since she voted for Jill Stein in Florida, I’m not sure how we Hillary supporters will get along with her.”
Sally also invited Cousin Joe, a Jeb Bush supporter who hates Trump. “We may be one big extended family,” Sally said, “but we’re a family divided. We need to unite.”
After the post-Thanksgiving results roll in, we’ll have a better idea of who came out on top, and who decided to just stay home.