Parent’s Walls Missing Photos of Son’s Chubby Phase

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Wall above staircase full of framed family photographs

DES MOINES – While visiting home for the first time after moving away to pursue a career in graphic design, Jason Kirkland made a shocking discovery. “I guess I hadn’t noticed before but there’s a solid five-year chunk of my childhood missing. The pictures go from when I was small and cute, to when I was captain of the football team. They completely erased when I was really into magic tricks, and all of the Arby’s employees knew me by name.”

Jason’s mother, Judy, had this to say regarding the photographs, “We didn’t do it intentionally, we just hung up the photos we liked the best. I never thought he was a heavy boy, just a bit husky for a time. He always had such a good appetite. We sent him to a camp for other boys like him, and he came back hating sweets and greasy foods. Then he became a dedicated athlete. Just look at him there in his football uniform, so slender and handsome.”

Listening to his mother, Jason’s eyes glazed over, as painful childhood memories rushed back like an ice cream brain freeze. “I remember ‘Camp Jelly Belly’ now,” said Jason. “We had to run through an obstacle course of car tires and chant, ‘I am what I eat! Food won’t make me complete!’ It was horrible.” His face grew sullen, and he said, “Anyone up for Arby’s curly fries?”