North Korea Offers US Students 15-Year Internment-ship

Two North Korean soldiers escort a young white American dressed in a suit as a prisoner

PYONGYANG – An exciting new offer is coming to American Students this fall, as the Dear Leader Kim Jong-Un (praise be his name) has authorized a 15-year internment-ship program for visitors to the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea. While most internships offer a work-study program, this ambitious initiative offers a work-work program designed for students looking to get a glimpse at how grueling and competitive the real world can be.

Students will awake at 7am sharp, where a world of wonder will open up before their eyes. After a quick handful of cornmeal for breakfast, they will be exposed to a wide variety of specialized training to prepare for future employment, including heavy logging, overcrowded factory labor, and crude mine shaft excavation.

Upon completing a full day of fun and fumes, students will be lead back to their “dorms,” where they will work on team-building exercises together. The exercises involve memorizing and repeating the rules of the camp over and over again until everyone gets every word right. A brief evening nap commences, then it’s back to work at the first light of dawn! After 15 short years, students will be invited to return home to their families a little wiser, and a little (well, a lot) lighter around the mid-section.

North Korean officials are thrilled with their new camp program, and think this is an excellent opportunity for US students to “give back” to their neighbors abroad. North Korean general Kim-Bi-Cruel said, “Our package is perfect for US students because they are familiar with internships and the process of unpaid labor.” Kim-Bi-Cruel expects students to flock to the new program or face harsh punishment when the isolated nation eventually takes over the rest of the world.