OBEE CITY – Thanks to the hottest new craze, kids are no longer having trouble focusing on the television. The Research Institute of Latest Fads believes that these toys can help kids reduce their number of screens by over 50%. Dr. Manny Dagrees said, “Kids simply do not have enough hands to eat, play on their phones, watch TV and get these toys spinning.”
Mother of eight-year-old, Shirley Lazey said, “These fidget spinners are helping me enforce our very strict rule of no more than two screens at any one time. Plus, I could always use one more thing to threaten taking away.”
Dr. Manny Dagrees also found children could retain 3x more content during a 30-minute educational program. One of his subjects, Tammy B. put it best, “I learned Frosted Flakes are GRRRREAT, and I have to be skinny to be happy.”
Next Dr. Dagrees plans to study viewing endurance while fidgeting. “Kids have been struggling to keep up with their parent’s binge watching stamina. Adults have an unfair advantage, many of them training for years to sit still in front of screen. I hypothesize fidgeting will increase a child’s large screen viewing endurance by up to 60 percent, which amounts to more quality family time in front of the TV.