Necromancer Mistakenly Attends Necrophilia Meeting, Tries to Slip out Unnoticed


HUNTSVILLE – Things got plenty awkward in a Huntsville cemetery this past Saturday night when the gothic church bell tolled twelve. Jerry, a local necromancer, attended what he thought was a meeting for local sorcerers with a love for raising the dead. Turns out Jerry misread the ad in the paper, and found himself in the middle of a Necrophilia Anonymous meeting.

“It was way weird,” admitted Jerry with his head down. “Not that I was judging them or anything. I mean we all deal with dead people, and there’s more than one way to skin a cat. Or a dead guy for that matter…I’m sorry, that just sounded wrong. Can we cut that? Can you all just pretend I didn’t say that and not print it?”

Jerry the necromancer attempted to slip out the back unnoticed, but was caught when his long black staff accidentally knocked over the punch bowl on the way out.

“I told them, ‘Look, I’m just trying to raise the dead and unleash my ghoulish spirit onto the world’, but they took that to mean some sort of sex thing. I tried one more time to explain that what I do is counterproductive to what they want anyway, but they were dead set. Ultimately I just had to vanish in a cloud of smoke and blinding light.”