Nation’s Halloween Costume Manufacturers Running out of Ideas for Sexy Inanimate Objects


NEW YORK – Members of the Worldwide Halloween Association (WHA) were out in record lows for the 2016 Halloween Costume Expo. The formerly successful event showcased countless best sellers in past years: Sexy Crayon, Sexy Pizza and Sexy Taco.

The new costumes unveiled this year included: Sexy Roll of Toilet Paper, Sexy Loaf of Bread and Sexy Disposable Coffee Cup licensed by Starbucks. An event spokesperson said that not a single one sold. One critic called the new line “cheap and trashy but not in the good slutty way.”

Cynthia Carmichael, a retailer and Expo attendee, criticized WHA for dropping the ball on couple’s costumes. “I got my hopes up when they announced a Poison Ivy set, but I was expecting the comic book villain, not a flesh mini dress covered in red welts, paired with a pink calamine lotion bottle suit. It is just gross but not in the good slasher movie way.”