Nasdaq Relocates to Denver in Attempt to Reach All Time High

Nasdaq Relocates to Denver to chase all time high

DENVER – The world’s second largest stock exchange has left its home in Manhattan for the mile high city of Denver, Colorado. The relocation was made in attempt to raise market values to new heights, as Nasdaq Inc. Chief Operating Officer, Paul Zuhtoker explained.

“Our move was basically a joint decision,” Zuhtoker said. “We’ve always wanted our composite index to go higher, and we all thought we should get higher along with it.”

The Nasdaq’s trading day starts later than before, and that’s not just because of the switch from East Coast to Mountain time.

“Our day begins when we feel like it,” explained a Nasdaq trader. “To be blunt, it’s whenever we all wake up. Some days it’s noon. Other days it’s not at all.”

Companies seeing recent trading activity on the Nasdaq include Frito Lay, Clear Eyes, Bic Lighters, and Office Max paperclip division. Traders describe the atmosphere as less competitive now and say they’re all buds.

The look of the trading operation is more laidback too, as Nasdaq workers shed their suits and ties for more casual tie-dyed T-shirts and hemp sandals.

“Some days I totally forget to get dressed,” said one trader wearing lounge pants and a V-neck T-shirt. “Oh look, I guess today is one of those days.”

Employees also enjoy frequent breaks, with free brownies available.

As stock ticker display screens glow through the haze on the main floor, the Nasdaq’s volume indicator appears higher than ever. The overall market has home grown to a double-dub value over the last month. The newly located Nasdaq is certainly on a roll, with even higher expectations, and that’s not just blowing smoke.