Mueller Probe Finds Obstruction, Enema Recommended

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WASHINGTON – Robert Mueller has shown he isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty these days as he continues his deep probe of Trump’s inner circle. As he closes in on the answers, he’s now recommending a new course of action before he sits down one-on-one with Trump and penetrates further.

“The deeper we go the more it stinks,” Mueller said in his press statement on Monday. “We’re confident that we’ve found the obstruction, now it’s just up to us to flush it out once and for all.”

Trump’s lawyers however have looked to block Mueller’s investigation anyway they can, saying they won’t rest until there’s complete stoppage. The Republican Party also haven’t budged in their support of the President as they work tirelessly to close off any possible leaks.

In the meantime, Vice President Mike Pence took to Twitter to remind everyone that he backs up the President one hundred percent. “Believe me, I’m deep in Trump’s inner circle, and I haven’t caught a whiff of anything.”

By this point the probe has already stretched into a full-scale examination and has left the public wondering: should the situation get any messier, will the President look to pardon himself?

Mueller says he isn’t concerned.

“Rest assured, should anyone on the President’s team budge, it will be Trump left holding the bag.”