NEW YORK – This December, famed TRL personality Carson Daily will host MTV’s 20th anniversary celebration of not being cool. The special will premiere on MTV, but also be broadcast on MTV2, MTV Tres, MTV Live, MTV-U, MTV Hits, and all other incredibly lame incarnations of the once popular network.
“Well, since the late 80s AND early 90s, the amount of actual musical programming began to decline along with our credibility,” recapped Carson Daily. “Around this time in 1996, all of America sort of woke up and realized, ‘oh wait, MTV isn’t cool. It’s just shallow pandering to an increasingly younger, more spoiled and inebriated audience.’ And when we took music from the programming once and for all, well, America justifiably asked, ‘what are they even doing anymore?’ Great question, America, great question.”
The broadcast is expected to break ratings records for low audience turnout as the network’s precipitous plummet continues.
“It’s going to be a blast,” says Daily, “a real blast. For the past several months we’ve been filming drunk college chicks dancing to T.I. music in the bottom of a haunted basement on a crappy night vision camera. For the special we plan to superimpose this footage on top of a hand held cam recording of Kurt Loder’s funeral. Maybe we’ll throw in a shot of Daria or something. It’s gonna be tight.”
When asked to explain the artistic vision behind the special, Carson replied, “Well, we’re going for ‘desperately trying to be edgy and cool, but instead just appearing sophomoric and stupid.’ That’s really where we’ve been at for the last 20 years, which is why we’re celebrating,” the former TRL star added.
Unfortunately it is unclear at this time whether this special will signal the end of the fledgling network, or if they plan to keep going for inexplicable reasons. Carson Daily did assure us of one thing: absolutely no music videos of any kind will be played at the event.