With Michael Flynn Out, Nation Rethinking Phrase “In Like Flynn”

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Gen. Michael Flynn

WASHINGTON D.C. – A wayward nation searches for its identity as one of its most commonly used phrases has lost all relevancy. In the wake of Michael Flynn’s resignation as National Security Advisor, the United States is rethinking its use of the phrase “in like Flynn.”

“I loved that phrase.” reminisced local “in like Flynn” user Errol Leslie. “But that saying definitely don’t mean what it used to mean. Flynn isn’t associated with ‘in’ no more. Flynn is OUT, you understand? Gone, caput, canned. When you say ‘in like Flynn” now, it’s like saying “Nicer like Spicer” or “tan like Kellyanne.” It just don’t sound right. And that’s a damn shame. What am I supposed to say now to my buddies when I score some broad’s phone number? It’s like I’ve lost my identity…all cause of that Russian-loving, fake news-spreading national embarrassment.”

The Trump administration, however, is looking for a way to curtail some of the negative effects of Flynn’s resignation. Mike Pence announced today on Capitol Hill some replacement sayings to cover the losses. “While that beloved phrase may no longer be apt, we can choose a new phrase for Americans who wish to express their joy and getting into those panties. The Trump administration welcomes the proliferation of the phrases, ‘On Deck Like Peck,’ ‘In Pant Like Grant,’ ‘Hard Like Bogart,’ and of course ‘Flirtin like Burton.'”