EL SEGUNDO – This fall, the world’s largest toy company Mattel plans to release their new line of Presidential Candidate Barbie and Megalomaniac Ken dolls. The new toys are expected to hit stores in early November – just in time for the United States Presidential election, and pre-empting Black Friday and the Christmas holiday season. The Presidential Candidate Barbie, modeled after Democratic nominee Hilary Clinton, will come with a sparkling blue suit and exchangeable helmet hair. By contrast the Megalomaniac Ken doll will be modeled after Republican Nominee Donald Trump, and will feature disproportionately small hands and a miniature self-tanner kit.
“We think these dolls are going to be huge, I mean YUGE successes,” says Christopher A Sinclair, CEO of Mattel International. “We think there are a variety of reasons that these toys are going to fly off the shelves this fall, depending on how the election goes of course. For one, parents might want to reinforce a positive role model for their little girls if America elects the first woman president. Or, if the election goes the other way, and parents will want to pick up a figurine of our new dear leader so their kids won’t get singled out as unpatriotic by the new regime, well, they can do that too! It’s a win-win situation for us, however it turns out.”
Each doll will come with either a giant speaking fee check from Goldman Sachs, or bottle of instant comb-over cream (which kids can also apply to their own hair). Mattel also plans to release a new dream house for Barbie and Ken (hint: it’s white), as well as a private jet with secret service dolls sold separately. Also in the works are a First Gentleman doll, modeled after Bill Clinton, with an action thumbs-up button, and a Melania doll with a face as plastic as the real thing.