Last Working Carphone Found in 1989 Mercedes

A view of the interior of a vehicle with a car-phone in the foreground.

DULUTH – A man was spotted last Tuesday seated in his car talking into a strange device. Shoppers at Gwinnett Place Mall were suspicious of the man and reported him to mall security officer Dan Davis, who approached him in the parking lot to ask what exactly he was holding.

“Why, it’s my Carphone,” said the man, holding up the thick, black device connected to a coiled cord. “My trusty Cartel.”

The phone’s owner, William Brookhaven, told the officer back in 1989 he was the first one on his block to get a carphone.

“I got it for when I was in sales,” Brookhaven said, “but I’ve just kept using it ever since. I have no tele- texting or World Wide Webs, or whatever folks have on their phones these days. But who can keep up with all this technology anymore?”

The officer asked Brookhaven if he had a hands-free or Bluetooth

“Bluetooth?” Brookhaven replied. “No, but I do have a gold tooth, if you want to see it.”

The officer was somewhat perplexed and simply cautioned Brookhaven not to get tangled in the phone cord while driving. Brookhaven assured the officer he’d be careful, and then punched in his home phone number to resume talking to his wife.

“Hi Honey, I’m going to JCPenney’s,” Brookhaven said. “What’s that? Oh yeah, I keep forgetting, Penney’s closed two years ago. Well, who can keep up with all these stores anymore?”