Inventor Frustrated that Literally Every Idea Already Exists on the Internet

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Overhead shot of man seated looking at a laptop holding his head in his hands in exasperation

EXETER – A bright red fuzzy piece of material sits forlornly on a shelf. “That could have been the first Snuggie,” said Ernest Ideasmith. “I was lying on the couch, wrapped in this blanket, but when I got up to jot down an idea, it fell right on the floor. That’s when I thought I might as well just wear the blanket around the house. But then I looked it up on the computer.” Ideasmith is an inventor, but he never got credit for the Snuggie, or numerous other inventions, and he claims it’s all because of the internet. “Everything’s already invented on there,” he said. “That darn internet has got so much stuff on it, and almost half of it I thought of first.”

Another invention Ideasmith missed the boat on was the selfie stick. “I was trying to take a picture of myself with my phone, but I could not hold it far enough away. So I duct-taped my phone to a big stick I found on the ground and set the photo to timer. That was the first selfie-stick. I mean, I might have designed it differently, using twigs and tree branches, but the young selfie crowd would have bought them up.”

The iPad is a technological game-changer that Ideasmith also thought of first. “It was back in 2000, I think,” said Ideasmith. “I had a notepad of paper full of writing, and I was trying to find my friend John’s phone number I’d jotted down. I thought, ‘Gee, I wish I had a search function like I do on my word processer. I could put in the name ‘John’ and be able to instantly locate the number. Then I figured if I could computerize the tablet of paper, make it have a screen and stuff, it would be an electronic tablet. The first one. Ideasmith admits his tablet idea included having actually pieces of paper on it, but still thinks he could have created the iPad.

Ideasmith’s latest idea is to create a support group for others like himself. “It will be called the Perturbed Inventors Support Sector East Division, or PISSED. Even if is there is one already, I don’t care, I’m still going to do it.”