Internet Explorer, once America’s favorite browser, has been steamrolled by Chrome in recent years. Why? Speed, open source coding and cross-device functionality. Good reasons, but it doesn’t make the rejection sting any less.
It’s a lonely existence for IE on Kyle Callahan’s laptop. Sitting amongst other favored browsers, IE hasn’t been opened since 2014. Kyle’s pet cam captured IE’s desperation while Kyle was away at work. “I know we went through some hard times,” said IE to what he thought was Kyle but was just Mr. Whiskers pawing at the mouse. “I admit, I used to crash whenever you’d have more than a few websites running at once. Sometimes I’d forget your passwords. And, my security has been hit or miss. But can’t you remember the good times?”
IE reminisced about MySpace and Friendster. “Those were the days, weren’t they? Don’t you remember the private browsing sessions that your wife never saw? Then, you started cheating on me with that hot little fox, Mozilla. That really hurt. Now you’re onto your shiny new Chrome. I saved your marriage when Chrome was just a twinkle in some developer’s eye.”
Every time IE would feel the curser approaching, he’d wonder if he was going to be opened or dragged to the trash. It was both thrilling and terrifying. Now, on top of everything else, he’s got his evil brother, Edge to worry about. At this point, IE would love if even the cat would accidently double click his little blue icon. At least then he could ask to be updated. Maybe that will get Kyle’s attention. Until then, ‘e’ remains eager for engagement.