Hundreds Turned Away at Nightclub Bouncer Convention

Two male bouncers wearing black shirts stand in front of an establishment's entrance

DETROIT – The organizers of the first annual Motor City Bouncer Convention declared the event a rousing success even though only 10 percent of paid attendees actually made it inside the convention center.

Keynote speaker, internationally renowned door guy Sven Marquardt of the Berlin techno club Berghain spoke to a satisfyingly meager audience. He broke from his prepared remarks to enthusiastically praise the convention’s curation of audience. “Now this is very good. You cannot have just anyone here. The mix is very important to get the right vibe.”

With the unifying theme of “It’s Your Party They Can Cry All They Want To,” Moto BounceCon wanted to really get across the idea that the gatekeepers at the door were the gatekeepers of happiness and joy itself. Even though people paid hundreds of dollars for convention credentials, the organizers made sure that they were still highly selective about who could actually go inside.

“It all starts at front, boss,” Convention chairman Wade Garrett explained. “If you screw up and let the wrong people in, your place could be done for good. For generations I’m talking here. Those kind of mistakes, you have to leave town and start over somewhere else where nobody knows your name.”

Outside, a line of 200 or so still lingered late into the convention’s final hours. One man, said that he was a little disappointed to not be able get inside after spending so much money, but that he also considered it a learning experience.

“I’m really learning how people in line think. I understand their anger, their resentment. I even understand rich jerk’s sense of entitlement. I’m ready for anything now. Well almost … really hot chicks still get a pass from me.”

Others were okay with the situation because even though Moto BounceCon took their money, they still were nice enough to hand out the promised swag bags to those in line.