Hospital Bill for Lost Arm and Leg to Cost Other Arm and Leg

man in a hospital bed in full body cast head to toe. A young, pretty female nurse is at foot of bed holding a clipboard.

SAN DIEGO – Screaming in anguish in a local hospital after seeing her bill, accident victim Eileen Moore was faced with paying an arm and a leg for her lost arm and leg.

“There’s no way I can pay for this without sacrificing a body part, and I already donated one of my kidneys!” said Mrs. Moore, who was afraid to say it, but knew exactly what she had to do to pay her debtors.

“Christ, this healthcare debt is really cutting me down to size. I thought things couldn’t get worse, but soon I’ll be able to literally put my foot in my mouth for that comment.”

Supposing that appendages are a dime a dozen in the medical world, Mrs. Moore wondered how she was going to pay. “What am I to do? Go on some kind of plan? A couple of fingers first, then a heel and a kneecap? I tell you, these debt collectors will tear your heart out if they get the chance,” adding “the bloodsuckers.””

At press time, Mrs. Moore said she was preparing for higher premiums as being limbless now constitutes a preexisting condition.