WASHINGTON – Excitement quickly turned to annoyance this Thursday when guests arrived at Mike Pence’s Indiana home for a dinner that in the end would be labeled “uncomfortable at best”. Friends and coworkers were disgruntled but not entirely surprised when they entered the Pence drawing room to find all the chairs aligned on one side of the table with Mike Pence himself seated in the middle.
As Pence ushered everyone in, the twelve guests were sat elbow-to-elbow, pushed together with hardly any regard for personal space. The arrangement proved particularly vexing for certain guests who require a wider berth while dining.
“This is ridiculous” exclaimed Sarah Huckabee Sanders. “How is anyone expected to eat when there’s only room for one plate in front of you?”
Trump on the other hand was more upset that his special request for well-done steak with ketchup had not been seen to. He was even more disappointed when Pence announced that they would only be serving bread and wine for the main course. Despite doling out pieces himself, Pence withheld from having any bread, saying he wouldn’t take part in the tasting of a man’s body.
The evening eventually took a turn when Pence stood up and announced to his guests that one among them would betray him for a mere 30 pieces of silver. Unfortunately for Pence, with the chance of money on the table and, seeing as the room was full of GOP lawmakers, the night ended with an all-out brawl over who got to betray him first.