WASHINGTON – When President Trump’s approval ratings began to fall, the ghost of former president Warren G. Harding was filled with delight. Ever since dying in office in 1923, Harding’s ghost has been desperately hoping to lose the title of “Worst American President.” New Roman Times was able to speak to him via Ouija Board.
“First, I thought I’d lose my Worst President title to the depressing Herbert Hoover who made the Depression even worse,” Harding said. “Later came George W., that blow-schnozzled sap! But when Trump was elected I knew for sure: that phonus balonus grandstander was sure to be declared Worst President, hands down!”
Our 29th president said he doesn’t go entirely by polls, but grins at every new outlandish lie and racist tweet that emanates from the troubled Trump White House. “People thought I had scandals,” Harding said. “Trump has more scandal-ridden scandals than you could shake a scandalous stick at.”
Warren G. Harding was criticized for shameful behavior, which included extramarital affairs and appointments of friends who used their offices for financial gain. He was a last hour pick for the Republican Party, and like Trump, he never really expected to be president.
“I told people I was not fit for the office, and never should have been there,” Harding said. “The same thing’s true for Trump, but he’ll never admit to it. That boondoggler believes he’s the bee’s knees.”
Harding also admitted to being a womanizer. “Sure, I was fond of chasing skirts,” he said, “but at least I got some. Plus, I was a sharp looking fellow, and Trump is one ugly mug. He’s got nothing appealing to a dame except his dough.”
Despite this, Harding admitted having some respect for Trump. “He fires off his yap like a two-bit triggerman, and somehow he gets away with it. In my day, you kept such things from the public discourse, or you’d end up in a real tizzy, like we’re in now.”