Gary Johnson Can’t Name a Single one of the Seven Dwarfs

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Libertarian Party Presidential nominee Gary Johnson

NEW YORK – “You gotta do this,” implored MSNBC’s Chris Mathews as the Libertarian party candidate for president of the United States squirmed in his seat. Beads of sweat began to roll down the back of Gary Johnson’s neck after an audience member asked him to name his favorite one of Snow White’s seven dwarfs.

“What is Snow White?” asked Johnson obliviously. The audience gasped. “You’re kidding?” asked Chris Mathews, “It’s the most famous animated movie ever made, how could you not know about it? Did you not have a childhood?” Johnson quickly replied “Ok, got it, got it” to ease the tension. He then repeated the question to buy himself time, “Who’s my favorite?…I….I’m sorry, I’m having a brain freeze.”

Mathews again tried to help, “Surely you’ve heard the names of some of these dwarves in pop culture. I mean any one of them. Just call out an emotional state of being and there’s a good chance you’ll name one. So sometimes you feel grouchy, right? So what’s a synonym for grouchy? Not grouchy but…” Johnson raised his eyes to meet Mathew’s and mumbled meekly, “Aleppo?” Mathews brought his hand to his forehead, grimaced and said, “No, that’s not the correct answer.” Johnson tried to save face, answering “Aleppi? “Aleppino?”, but the damage was done. Exacerbated, Johnson fumed, “Can we just go back to talking about legalizing pot, please?”

After the interview, Mathews was dismissive of the Libertarian leader. “Look, this guy is not a serious candidate at all. It’s not like he was asked to name all seven. Had he named a few and just forgotten one – Bashful, everybody always forgets about Bashful – then I would have understood, but NONE OF THEM? You’ve got to know this stuff if you’re the leader of the free world. You might as well call Gary Johnson the ‘Dopey’ of presidential candidates.”