LAGUNA HILLS – This year, the Basket family annual picnic was infested with Aunts. Even though the location was intentionally chosen to reduce the chances of aunts showing up, they starting marching in one by one, carrying an obscenely large feast approximately 100 times the weight of the attendees.
First was sweet-talkin’ Aunt Jemima who lays it on thick, smothering everyone with too much love. Second came Aunt Hillary, Aunt Hill for short, who is a skilled carpenter for the army. Last was Aunt Asyd with her secret “auntedote,” as she calls it, for hotdog tummy aches. The event turned into organized chaos as the aunts lead in a winding stream of 12 children, 66 grandchildren, and 185 great grandchildren. As they all started devouring the food, everybody started getting antsy.