Donald Trump Jr. Chokes on Skittle, Tastes the Irony

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Donald Trump Jr.

NEW YORK – On September 19, when Donald Trump Jr. tweeted a picture of a bowl of skittles. The image included the text, “If I had a bowl of skittles and I told you just three would kill you. Would you take a handful? That’s our Syrian refugee problem.”

The tweet was widely criticized for not accurately representing the infinitesimally small danger posed by foreign refugees on Americans and, you know, comparing woman and children fleeing a war torn country to chewy sugar candy. Little did Jr. know, he’d choke on these words again.

Earlier today, Donald Trump Jr. was released from the hospital after nearly choking to death on a green skittle. The loss of oxygen caused Jr. to temporary turn blue, then orange from panic and embarrassment and finally bright red from anger. After experiencing the full spectrum of human emotion for the first time, Donald Trump Jr. said that he tasted the irony, and the flavor was bitter.

When Donald Trump Jr. finally returned to normal flesh color, the karmic lesson was long forgotten, and he stated that once his father is elected, the Trump family will ensure that no Syrian refugee will ever reach the United States borders, and that Skittles will be banned from doing business in the United States.