Deteriorating Health Due to Eating Pizza Now Known as the Domino’s Effect 

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Pittsburgh – When you are young, the furnace is so hot, it will burn anything. But as you get older, a moment on the lips becomes a lifetime on the hips. A new study by the World Metaphor Organization (WMO) shows that weight gain, caused by consuming cheap pizza like Domino’s, is the exact same chain reaction we witness when dominoes fall down. Physicists understand that the rate at which dominoes fall depends on: mass of dominoes, distance between dominoes, force of flick and gravity.  The WMO has concluded that the rate at which humans gain weight depends on: amount of pizza, time between pizzas, peer pressure and, well, still gravity.

So, if you are what you eat, why do you keep pigging out? Maybe you have a lot on your plate. Or, maybe you just think pizza is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Even if pizza is not your cup of tea, you get the meat and potatoes of the argument. It’s a pie in the sky idea to think you can have your cake and eat it too.

Dr. Seema Lee, top banana at WMO, explains, “It can be a bitter pill to swallow, but if you keep eating like a horse, your goose is cooked. It’s not feast or famine, and there is no forbidden fruit. Any diet worth your salt will have you start with the low-hanging fruit. Don’t cry over spilled milk. You too can have a tummy flat as a pancake, and life will be a bowl of cherries. In a nutshell, variety is the spice of life.”

The WMO will be releasing the results of two more studies later this year: The Red Lobster Butterfly Shrimp Effect and The Trickledown Starbucks Effect.