CHICAGO – Barely a month after the conclusion of their 2 week European vacation, Roger and Johanna Wilkerson came to the startling conclusion that they had fully morphed into the hollow, spiritless individuals they had been before. The realization came as their gazes briefly met this morning as they were climbing into their cars to begin their respective soul-crushing commutes.
“It was like looking into a void,” Johanna recalled. “Regular Roger was completely defeated and resigned to his fate. You’d never see that look in Vacation Roger’s eyes. Vacation Roger grabbed life by the throat like a ravenous wolf. Vacation Roger was a man of action and passion. I would do anything for Vacation Roger.”
Roger echoed his wife’s sentiments. “Man, I miss Vacation Johanna. That woman was up for anything. Over there she was like a goddess among mortals. Vacation Johanna was mysterious and full of intensity and intelligence. She was full of laughter and light, and utterly fearless. Vacation Johanna is totally out of my league, but man I’d love another shot with her.”
After returning from their trip, the Wilkersons initially made a valiant attempt to engage in the activities their vacation personas reveled in — such as long bike rides, exotic dining, adventurous sex, clubbing until dawn and spontaneously jumping into random fountains. As is often the case however, the crushing weight of day-to-day mundanity proved to be too strong, and the best versions of themselves faded away. All hope is not lost however, as both Wilkersons expect an increase in their respective vacation allotments after 10 more months of tedious labor.