FOOTAGEVILLE – The controversial new police body camera policy has its supporters and detractors, and the evidence for the procedure’s effectiveness at reducing police misconduct is still coming in. For police officer Barry B. Fronting, however, the new technology has been nothing but a headache. The trouble came while trying to solve a simple domestic dispute – with his own wife.
One evening after a long day on the job, Barry forgot to turn off his body camera, a fact which his wife, Jane-Ain’t Fronting, noticed and used to her advantage. During a quarrel over whether Barry had started the argument about leftovers, Jane motioned to the body cam still hanging from her husband’s chest. She simply said, “Alright, let’s just go to the tape then, shall we?” The footage on the camera not only showed that Barry did indeed start it, but also that he was responsible for eating the last piece of cake off the counter minutes beforehand. Barry had previously blamed the missing cake on their dog, Goatscape.
Since that day, Jane-Ain’t has been using Barry’s forgetful attitude towards turning off his body cam to prove her husband wrong over and over again. It has caught him in a boldface lie about throwing his socks outside the hamper, leaving the closet door open, and exposed dozens of instances where he claimed that he did not say something that he very well did.
The recent incidents have soured Barry’s opinion on the new technology. “I can’t stand those damn cameras! I used to be able to get by on a vague level of authority and assumption that police officers probably tell the truth. Now I can’t get away with anything anymore! If she wants to take me to court over not eating all the peas of my plate, well, dag nabit she can do it! The police body cams should all be thrown off the police station roof and never talked about again!” At present, Footageville Police department has no plans to stop using police body cameras, and Jane Ain’t-Fronting has no plans to stop using this to her advantage.