Cat Avoids Advances From Lonesome Party Introvert

Cat with mouth wide open

CHICAGO – Parties can be stressful for pets, but it’s not just the loud music and threat of being stepped on. Bo the cat knew within minutes of Tim’s arrival that he was the needy type.  Bo’s human roommate, Colin, throws these parties pretty often, but this was the first time Bo smelled Tim and his pungent desperation.

The next day, looking hungover in his grungy bathrobe, Colin told us what happened while he collected empty beer bottles. “It was a wild night, wasn’t it Bo, yes it was,” said Colin as he took a break from cleaning to scratch Bo behind the ears. “I invited Tim from work because he overheard me talking about the party. That was my first mistake.”

Colin’s roommate recalled that Tim got rejected from every conversation before moving onto the cat. “Even Bo wanted nothing to do with him,” said Gina. “They had a staring contest, and Tim lost. He’s such a loser. I recorded it on my phone, look.” Gina played the video which ended with Bo slowly turning his head away from Tim while yawning in snide disinterest.

“Apparently, Tim couldn’t take the hint,” said Colin. “He followed Bo into Gina’s bedroom like a real creep saying ‘here, kitty, kitty’ but Bo wanted nothing to do with him. Cornered, Bo had enough, and he hissed and scratched at Tim. The rest of the night we razzed poor Tim, ‘Hiss means no’ and ‘Pussies unite, take back the night!’ Tim’s face turned so red. We said, ‘what’s the matter, cat got your tongue!’ It was hilarious.”