LOCO, TX – After reports of billions lost in net worth, bankruptcies filed, taxes dodged and women groped, once eager contractors for the proposed Trump border wall are starting to get cold feet. A collection of prominent builders led by builders Bob Drywall and Jorge Wingnut have drafted an agreement ensuring they will only begin work on the proposed border wall after significant costs are paid upfront by the Trump campaign and US government.
“If I dropped a billion dollars just to avoid paying taxes for a while, I’d stiff my contractors while I was at it, too,” said Bob, in the process of building an unrelated park gazebo.
“We can only afford to eat the cost of so many solid gold toilets when, I mean, if the election goes south for him,” Jorge added.
When reached for comment, no official response appeared from Trump headquarters until 3am the next day, when a barrage of tweets disparaged the builders. “Losers. No class. No room for crooked contractors in Trump admin!”
“Until wall goes up, there are better builders in Home Depot parking lot.” Trump closed with a hashtag: #cantquitifyourefired