Biden Denies Violating Foreign Hairspace

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WASHINGTON – It seems shag-sniffing Joe is at it again as new details emerged yesterday of an incident where the former Vice President was
reportedly shot down by a woman after invading her hairspace without consent.

“I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders, so I looked up and there he was! Flying in for a whiff.” says accuser Melissa Collins. “He left me no choice, so I let him have it.”

Biden, who has a long documented history of noggin-nosing any woman he comes across, adamantly denied these rumors in an interview this morning.

“This woman’s actions were completely unprovoked” Biden exclaimed after being questioned about the incident. “Everyone in this country knows that personal space laws allow for a 1-foot safe zone between nostril and follicle, and I for one never crossed that line.”

Whether in her hairspace or not, the report doesn’t bode well for Biden who was still recovering from also getting blown up by Kamala Harris last week. When President Trump was asked to comment he replied that Joe was actually “No man at all” and lacked the star power necessary to sniff hair with impunity.