Ambien Issues Statement to Call Police if Racist Effects Last More Than 4 Hours


BRIDGEWATER, NJ – The company behind the drug Ambien issued a warning today for any customers experiencing the newly discovered side effects from their drugs.

A representative for the manufacturer stated:

“We urge you, if you find yourself being particularly racist up to 4 hours after taking our drug, to please phone the police…though we suspect you may already be on the phone with them.”

The side effect was brought to our attention today after former-TV star Rosanne Barr insisted she was not acting in her right state of mind when she took to twitter to fire off some racist tweets, citing it was the Ambien’s fault. Now the manufacturer has no choice but to update its warning label to better reflect the lasting effects of the drug.

“I used to take one or two to doze off every night” says Ambien user Betty-May Givens. “But now every time I wake up wearing my sheets rather than being tucked under them.”

Many other celebrities were quick to hop on the wagon with Roseanne. Paula Deen revealed she was on Ambien 20 years ago when she made her racial remarks. Same with Michael Richards and Donald Sterling: all riding the Ambien train.

The manufacturer was quick to add other warnings to the label as well which included:

  1. If still feeling woke, double your dosage
  2. Colors may appear more brown than actually are
  3. Discontinue use if running for public office