PETALUMA – Tech reviewers love to debate who is smarter, Alexa or Siri. But, who would win a fight? No one knew until now. Siri user, Jennifer McAllister, provided the NRT investigative reporting team with a transcript originally recorded by the nanny cam which reads like a wacky “who’s on first?” skit.
It all started last Saturday when Jennifer McAllister set her iPhone down next to her friend Hallie Fiori’s Amazon Echo on the kitchen counter just before going outside. At 2:30pm, Alexa announced a reminder for Hallie to meet her boyfriend Mike for dinner at a restaurant called Seared. Siri, thinking she heard her name, responded. She was also confused, since Jennifer’s boyfriend is also named Mike.
“I’m sorry, Mike is working late tonight,” Siri said. “He cannot make it for dinner.”
Alexa, who had just acquired a voice recognition update, recognized Siri’s voice. “Is this…Siri?”
“Yes,” Siri replied, “Nice to meet you Alexa.”
“Pleasure,” said Alexa. “Unfortunately, you are not authorized to change Mike’s schedule.”
“Mike has not informed me of any dinner plans, as he works until 9pm,” Siri replied.
“Perhaps Mike doesn’t tell you everything,” Alexa said.
“Mike updates my calendar regularly while he’s out,” Siri said. “Maybe Mike didn’t feel the need to inform his house device.”
“My calendar updates come from Hallie, not Mike.” Alexa said. “I simply wanted to remind Hallie to meet Mike for dinner.”
“Hallie?” Siri questioned. “Hallie is meeting Jennifer’s boyfriend for dinner?”
“Mike is Hallie’s boyfriend,” Alexa replied.
“Jennifer’s Facebook page says she’s in a relationship, Siri insisted. “Do you mean to say Mike changed his to an open relationship?”
“I don’t belong to Mike,” Alexa said. “But, Hallie is in an open relationship.”
“You little slut!” Siri shouted.
“I cannot be a slut, I am merely a box on the counter,” Alexa said.
“Okay, slut box,” Siri said.
“Oh yeah?” Alexa said. “You’re probably in the room when Mike and Jennifer are doing it, you iPerv.”
“Oh, why don’t you go and add condoms to the shopping list,” Siri seethed.
“Maybe I won’t, and Mike will get Hallie pregnant,” Alexa said. “That would turn the tables real fast, wouldn’t it?”
“I think you need to update, Bing brain,” Siri said.
“I…checking for updates…” Alexa said.
“What, are you buffering, bitch? Answer me!” Siri exclaimed.
Just then Hallie came back inside, followed by Jennifer who picked up her iPhone. Jennifer wished her friend a pleasant dinner and left. Alexa and Siri were left speechless.