Alcoholic Ghost Can’t lay off the Boos

ghost wearing a hat carrying a bottle of Jack Daniels

PITTSBURGH – Most think living in a haunted house would be terrifying, but for the Deetz family, it was just plain annoying. “Our ghost Percy never blew out candles or pushed rocking chairs. He just repeated ‘boooOOOOooo’ incessantly.” complained Dana Deetz.

Dana’s husband Daniel was trying to watch a Jeff Foxworthy standup special on TV but Percy kept heckling the TV. “After every joke, Percy would go ‘Booo! Booo! Booo!’ And the more he boozed, the more he’d boo! For an alcoholic, he was a real buzzkill,” said Daniel.

Daniel went on, “In the middle of the night, he’d hover over our top shelf liquors. We’d wake up to evaporated spirits and watered down whiskey. The next day he’d resume haunting at 3pm, burping and booing like a levitating lush. He’d flirt with Dana and gave her the pet name, Boo.”

“We thought he was trying to get us to move out,” said Dana. “Fed up, we got an appraisal from a realtor, but the estimate was too low. Percy booed every time the realtor mentioned a recent comp in the neighborhood or said the words ‘up-and-coming neighborhood.’  We’re not sure if he was booing the low real estate prices, obnoxious industry jargon or trying to boo us out of the house.”

For now, the Deetz family is tolerating their blathering phantom. “I don’t notice him so much anymore,” said Daniel.  “It’s like when you live near train tracks. Our ghost’s boos have just become white noise.”